Year Two
I’ve heard from other parents that year two is worse than year one. A few weeks into year two without Johnathan and I just don’t have the...
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Jackie Huff
- Dec 19, 2021
- 4 min
The Countdown Begins
I don’t know when I’m supposed to start counting down the days until the one year anniversary of Johnathan’s death. First of December?...
620 views0 comments
Jackie Huff
- Nov 2, 2021
- 3 min
Why?
Every thing feels to be getting deeper and more real. I hadn’t gotten to asking why until it was brought up during a GriefShare meeting....
299 views0 comments
Jackie Huff
- Sep 20, 2021
- 0 min
9 Months
Nine months. It’s been 9 months since I held you in my arms. There’s something about that 9 month time span that always hits a mom in the...
336 views0 comments
Jackie Huff
- Aug 23, 2021
- 2 min
Metaphors Galore
Waves keep crashing all around me, I get knocked down and just when I think I’m on my feet again, here comes another wave. I‘m in a pit...
249 views0 comments
Jackie Huff
- Jul 30, 2021
- 1 min
On the Edge
I’m always on the edge. On the edge of a panic attack. On the edge of crying. On the edge of wanting to run away. On the edge of never...
191 views1 comment
Jackie Huff
- Jul 5, 2021
- 3 min
Stepping Out of the Bubble
The bubble is simultaneously good and bad. The days you wake up and you just feel like you can’t face the day, you get into your bubble. ...
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Jackie Huff
- Jun 18, 2021
- 2 min
Just Another Headline
You feel so empowered the first time a news reporter contacts you to share your tragic story publicly. After losing your child, you feel...
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Jackie Huff
- Jun 13, 2021
- 3 min
To the Doctor who held my hand,
Thank you. I can’t remember your name. I know you introduced yourself, but then you told me that you had tried everything you could do...
1,280 views0 comments
Jackie Huff
- Jun 1, 2021
- 3 min
How to Walk the Medicine Walk?
How does a mom who’s been called to work in medicine return to a life of medicine when her son’s death haunts her every day? Not very...
235 views1 comment
Jackie Huff
- May 28, 2021
- 2 min
Radio Silence
Some circumstances around unexpected deaths will require the surviving family and friends to take on a code of silence. It may be that...
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Jackie Huff
- May 12, 2021
- 2 min
Feel Like I Could Die Today
I’m listening to a lot of Five Finger Death Punch. We did as a family when Johnathan was still alive and now the songs and words have...
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Jackie Huff
- May 5, 2021
- 3 min
The only teacher he’ll ever have
So it’s teacher appreciation week. Michael and Johnathan went to daycare every weekday since we moved to North Carolina. Michael...
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Jackie Huff
- Apr 29, 2021
- 2 min
No cute endings, yet.
The mermaid gets legs and marries her prince. Genetically enhanced humans save the world from alien invasion. A dad, uncle, and funny...
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Jackie Huff
- Apr 26, 2021
- 3 min
Running Away
Since Johnathan died, I’ve had this internal struggle between wanting to be closer to everything that reminds me of him, while at the...
116 views0 comments
Jackie Huff
- Apr 22, 2021
- 2 min
Wake Me From This Nightmare
What do you do when your subconscious is just as anxious and angry as your conscious mind? What’s in my head? Nightmares. Flashbacks. ...
108 views0 comments
Jackie Huff
- Apr 14, 2021
- 3 min
More like a Hurricane
I feel like I’ve barely been able to breathe the last few days. It’s been 16 weeks since Johnathan died. Every day I’m feeling a deeper...
118 views0 comments
Jackie Huff
- Apr 11, 2021
- 5 min
How to Find a New Hairdresser
Forming a relationship with someone AFTER a child's death comes with this ever present worry of when and how the conversation will come...
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Jackie Huff
- Apr 3, 2021
- 2 min
The Future He’ll Never Live
When you lose a child, you not only lose the life they had, but you lose the life they could have had. Johnathan was just starting to...
159 views0 comments
Jackie Huff
- Mar 27, 2021
- 2 min
Gone
Today I’ve had the overwhelming realization that you are actually gone. No matter how hard I wish or pray, you will never come back. I...
245 views0 comments
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